What to do if you are a committee member

 

Besides traffic jams, nothing has held back our country as much as committees

Our women’s club, loosely held together by housewives with time on their hands decided to do our bit for the city. And so, committees were formed, after much bragging and ego clashes. Only later we realised that a committee is a group of men and women who individually can do nothing can be done. First on the agenda was a meeting time, place and a plan. Files, pens and paper were procured

 Then, problems arose when group division and allotment began. For example, putting together neighbours which didn’t speak to each other was unacceptable. A doctor’s wife didn’t want to sit with similar diamond studded dames and so on

 A biblical story tells that Moses had no committee to help him steer the Israelites out of Egypt. If he did have a committee they would have still been in Egypt. If Columbus had been an advisory board, he probably would have never been able to sail the Atlantic to discover a new land.

When political leaders can’t figure out a solution to a problem, they had it over to the committees, who in turn hand it over to sub-committees and ad-hoc committees

A committee meet is perhaps the only activity for which no preparation is made except by the chairperson. Committee meetings are definitely fun with tea and snacks thrown in. What more do members want?

The following are some gems of thought retrieved from the recesses of my mind. I would offer them to anyone on a committee

Never arrive on time. If you do so, you will be stamped as a beginner and be roped in to arrange the chairs and files. Don’t open you’re your mind or mouth until the meeting is held over or else some might term you as being too pushy. Be as vague as possible, thus avoiding irritating others. If and when you are in doubt, loudly suggest that a sub-committee or ad-hoc committee be appointed. This will make you popular, getting friends for an adjournment is what everyone was waiting for. By the way has anyone seen a street or monument after a committee?